Shirley’s Burn Book

Russian Agents are worse than Dolly Grip

Rated 2 out of 5 stars

When you’ve worked with Dolly Grip for as long as have, you get pretty good at separating the truth from some feeble excuse for why she hasn’t got a new ‘number’ for this week’s show. But it wouldn’t take much of a bullshit detector to see right through those Russian agents who are accused of poisoning two people in Britain last year. The two men recently went on Russian TV to deny any involvement, even though the Brits have tracked them down and linked them to a trip to Salisbury at the exact time the poisonings took place. With completely straight faces, the lads admitted to the media that, yes, they were there, but only to visit the local church spire!

Sure, Ivan... That’s like the time Dolly tried to tell me that she was down that dark lane because she liked the cobblestones.

Rodrigo Alves Has An Inappropriate Face

Rated 3 out of 5 stars

Speaking of awkward fumbles in the dark... Dan Osborne has revealed that something “uncomfortable” went down between him and Human Ken Doll™ Rodrigo Alves in the Celebrity Big Brother house. Dan didn’t go into details other than to say Rodrigo did something inappropriate and was asked to leave the show.

Now, it’s not for me to downplay Dan Osborne’s #MeToo moment but think the most inappropriate thing that Rodrigo has done has been to his face.

Colleen, It’s Too Late, It’s Much Too Late

Rated 5 out of 5 stars

Thanks to everybody getting #woke, the world has become a harder place for middle-aged bullies and bigots. Take Colleen Nolan. Colleen has opinions and she’s not afraid to share them. Sadly for her, many of those views are from the 1970’s, like the time she said gay people shouldn’t be allowed to adopt children or that gay rights activists ghting discrimination were like Isis. #WTF

Well, Colleen and her Loose Women crew bit off a bit more than they could chew when they tried to gang up on cleanerturned-celebrity Kim Woodburn, with whom Colleen has been feuding for years. Viewers were not having the blatant attempt to bully Kim, who has some obvious mental health issues, and what should have been a fun spot of bullying came back to haunt Colleen. Public petitions for her to be sacked brought her to tears and forced her into an apology.

For me, it’s too little too late and an insincere apology is like an unhappy cleaner: it just isn’t gonna wash.

Cardi B and Nicki Minaj Throwing Slaps

Rated 4 out of 5 stars

If you don’t like the sight of women fi ghting, you would have hated to be at New York Fashion Week recently where rap queens Cardi B and Nicki Minaj got into it big time. Slaps were thrown.

Fist were thrown. Even SHOES were thrown. #HandbagsAtDawn The two rappers have had low-key drama for a while now, with fans claiming they’ve been throwing shade at each other in song lyrics and online. (Yeah, me neither!) Both ladies have repeatedly denied that they have any beef but, like Liberace, the truth came out eventually.

Their fight was caught on video and Cardi B left the party sporting a massive bump on her head where someone had hit her with a shoe.

Both women have denied being trashy troublemakers but if the shoe ts!