WHAT IT FEELS LIKE FOR A BEAR | Pocketmags.com

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WHAT IT FEELS LIKE FOR A BEAR

Many moons ago, when I was a baby gay (to use Panti’s terminology) I was introduced to a very handsome young chap (HYC) in the Bernard Shaw pub in Dublin. This HYC was a Mayo man (like myself), a fan of Murder She Wrote (seemingly important to 21 year-old me, as it has stuck in my mind to this day), funny, smart and most important – seemingly interested in me.

After a few (probably many) drinks in the basement of some trendy spot on Wicklow Street, I looked to see how interested my HYC was. Turns out – not at all! I’m not sure what I said but his response remains crystal clear in my memory – “You’re a cub and I’m more into bears, older guys – big guys”. I was floored; I wasn’t even sure what a cub was. Having already mentally picked out curtains for our future home, this was not the response I was looking for.

My HYC, possibly to soften the blow, informed me that maybe in a few years I would be his type. For a considerably long time this encounter cemented for me the notion that being a bear boiled down to nothing more than sexual preference or a body shape. Similarly being ‘boxed off’ into categories such as bear and cub crystallised for younger, more impressionable me, what I perceived to be a lack of solidarity and cohesion within the queer community.

In the intervening years, having engaged with the queer community in a more meaningful way and learned to understand it better, my somewhat simplistic view has evolved. The bear community, as many of the smaller communities under the rainbow flag, offers acceptance, companionship and a social outlet for its members, particularly for those who do not feel readily accepted in the ‘mainstream’ gay scene. Yet, as with many of the queer subcultures that make up the broader queer community, bears are complex and full of contradictions.

BEAR PARADOX

Within these notions of bear-y acceptance and inclusion there lies a paradox – while the bear community is built around accepting, particularly accepting those who do not fit the gay body ideal, does there need to be an element of exclusion in who gets to call themselves a bear? Is being a bear just about being big and hairy or is it more broadly an ethos of acceptance, regardless of body type?

Another paradox that lies in the bear subculture is around the notion of masculinity. While the aesthetic of bears is aligned with ‘normal man’ realness, is there an element of attempting to separate bears from more mainstream gay men? Particularly as some members of the bear community have set themselves out as the bastions of queer masculinity and all other gay men are just manicured, muscled morons that prance about. In providing space for different tastes and body types, is embracing the ‘regular guy’ look a step towards heteronormativity and assimilation?

Some sociological studies have uncovered a resistance to effeminacy among bear-identified men; in their pursuit of a more masculine aesthetic some bears avoid or play down the connection to the queer community to maintain a distance from preserved femininity. So for those who consider themselves bears what is it – is it a resistance to gay men’s somewhat unrealistic body standards or is it squaring off a separate space to promote a community that in its own way can isolate more fem or less hairy/hefty guys?

WIDE SPECTRUM OF BODY SHAPES

Mark Garvie (main picture) is Ireland’s first bear burlesque act, Bear Lee There Burlesque. He defines being a bear, as being of “bigger build and hairy, but there’s that mix also of smooth guys who are muscled or hairy and chubby.”

“A wide spectrum of body shapes and types fit under the bear family roof,” he says.

For Chairperson of Dublin Bears, Tom O’Connor while the physical attraction to men of a certain size and fur count is important, it is not the overarching meaning of bearhood.

“It’s really about the attitude. People say if I’m not hairy, I’m not a bear, but it doesn’t matter. It’s more relaxed, more friendly. Gay bars tend to cater for a younger group and lot of people wouldn’t feel comfortable in that scene. The bear scene is actually a much broader age group; it’s more conversational and easier to meet people.”

This ethos of human interaction and forming a real connection is what lies at the heart of being a bear, from the inception of the sub culture back in the 1980’s.

Les Wright, a founding figure in the San Francisco bear community, explains how the symbol of a teddy bear was used as a form of resistance to the predominantly hypersexual and overtly masculine leather bar culture of San Fran in the 1980’s. Through carrying a small teddy bear in their shirt or hip pockets, the “original bears” were pushing back on the practice of wearing different coloured hanky’s that denoted a particular sexual preference. The bear signified that the teddy carrier was interested in affection and companionship, or according to Wright “cuddling… [the bear meant] I am a human being, I give and receive affection.”

'AUTHENTIC MASCULINITY'

According to sociologist Peter Hennen, the original bears rejected “the self-conscious, exaggerated masculinity of the gay leathermen in favour of a more ‘authentic’ masculinity.” What is authentic masculinity, however, for a group of queer men?

According to Wright: “Bears are fully engaged with hegemonic masculinity, seeking an alternative answer, both accepting some of the trappings while rejecting others”.

To engage with the dominant or mainstream masculinity means the imitation of working class straight men – builders, plumbers, firemen and farmers. Hennen notes that bear masculinity “simultaneously challenges and reproduces” heterosexual and mainstream masculinity. Effectively by reproducing the dress, speech and mannerisms of ‘ordinary guys’, bears are removing the ‘otherness’ or strangeness of being a gay man and disturbing stereotypes long established about gay men.

Tom from Dublin Bears describes a group of men that enjoy the company of other men and are happy “in their skin,” regardless of their body types. He does point out too that campness or femininity is not seen negatively among the group, as acceptance lies at the heart of what Dublin Bears is about.

Some argue that adopting heterosexuality as a point of reference in expressing oneself reduces the queerness and holds straightness up as the standard. However, Tom prizes acceptance over anything else for Dublin Bears, as so many in the bear community have not felt comfortable or accepted in mainstream gay spaces before.

“We can be as camp as Christmas,” Tom notes. “The whole point of Dublin Bears is to provide a space for bears and those who appreciate bears to come together.”

“Too many people have had to ght to feel that they can be accepted and t in, just for being true to themselves.

Dublin Bears’ commitment to mix different age groups and people from different backgrounds strikes me as unique. Queer community leaders from a diverse range of groups and backgrounds have lamented the divisions that lie in queer communities – particularly around age. People can feel boxed off and sometimes excluded from the broader community. Dublin Bears actively work against this. The group’s insistence on inclusion sets them apart, particularly from their US counterparts where research on bear culture has shown an element of exclusionary practices – particularly around race and class.

Being excluded due to body weight or not fitting a fixed idea of what a gay man should look like is an issue that’s only too real for many bears. Both Tom and Mark speak about inclusion based on body image. Mark has felt excluded at times due to his size.

“There will always be guys who will judge others because they are not the same as themselves, but in general the bear community has such a broad range of characters and types that it’s welcoming to all, which is what it should be like. Too many people have had to fight to feel that they can be accepted and fit in just for being true to themselves, so we as a community should be as supportive and non-judgemental of others.”

Mark’s show is an example of how bear culture is subverting fixed ideas of male body standards, while also challenging fixed ideas of masculinity and femininity. The art of burlesque, originally based around the female figure is queered and reimagined through his act. The playful mix of traditional burlesque through a larger male body pushes the boundaries of homogenous gay body culture and more broadly, how we view the male form.

EMBRACING QUEERNESS

Complexities and paradoxes run throughout queer communities – does getting married make me less gay? Does being too butch/fem make me a cliché? Can I present as straight and still consider myself queer? The bears are no different. Presenting like straight or average men is an escape from a gay culture where many bears did not feel welcome. Maybe the normalisation and identification with heterosexual men – while at the same time being comfortably out queer people – has ironically turned out to be profoundly disruptive of heterosexual masculinity.

Embracing their queerness, while pushing back on the elements of gay culture that excluded them, bears are exposing some of the deficits of gay culture, while challenging norms established through heteronormativity. Similarly, the embrace of the male body, in all its shapes and sizes, disrupts fixed notions of the ideal male form. This more accepting idea of the male form has potential impact beyond the queer community in stretching ideas for body standards for all men.

For me, while I still do not identify as a bear (or cub or koala or whatever), the ethos of acceptance that runs through bear culture holds enormous weight with me (bad pun but it had to happen). In a broader sense maybe our queer communities can look towards the bears in adopting a similar inclusivity towards each other.

Bear Féile takes place in Dublin from March 23 to 25, www.dublinbears.ie for full details of events

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