CELEBRATING DISABLED JOY | Pocketmags.com

COPIED
6 mins

CELEBRATING DISABLED JOY

Battling the myth that Disabled People are unhappy, Alannah Murray speaks to friends to find out what sparks joy and how they celebrate their community.

It’s been a heavy year, but I don’t have to tell anyone that. In fact, it’s been a heavy few years. Disabled People have carried greater weight than most though, and I think there needs to be an acknowledgement of that.

We were the first ones told to shield, yet the first to be left behind because people were ‘over’ the pandemic. It can feel particularly heavy when you feel that you as a community are alone in fighting for yourselves.

Saying all that, people can’t imagine a positive to being Disabled, and there’s a misconception that Disabled People are unhappy. That couldn’t be further from the truth!

What “Disabled Joy” means to me is seeing my Disabled friends succeed despite a world that does everything to keep us down and pigeonhole us. It means knowing that I always have a community of people that I can rely on to be in my corner. There was a time when I would work myself into the ground because I felt like I had something to prove, but I’ve found joy in looking after myself instead. I find joy in the connections I’ve made with people online, and in quiet mornings in bed resting.

I’ve asked some friends both old and new the same two questions:

1. What does Disabled Joy mean to you?

2. Where do you find joy?

These were their answers:

Cúán Keane

HE/THEY

One of the biggest sources of Disabled Joy for me right now is that I have a new wheelchair. It’s actually made for me, and it’s like it’s a dream. Especially going downhill, I barely even need to touch it, it just flies. I’m hoping to get some power assist put on it soon as well, just to help protect my shoulders. I’m so looking forward to it, like I know it will be unstoppable when that happens. So that’s one source - those kinds of those moments where you get that right adaptation, and you’re like, “Oh life is that little bit easier”.

Another thing that comes to mind for me is defiance. And in certain respects, Disabled Joy to me feels very similar to Queer Joy - I am going to be happy, despite what society tries to put on me, despite the narratives that are out there, despite whatever hardships that might cause me. I deserve to be as happy as anyone else and if I have to make it myself, I will.

Then the other one for me is community. It’s chatting with other Disabled folks. And in my case, my entire friends circle at this point is other queer folks, mostly Trans queer folks, and just chatting disability with people who have similar life experiences. They get the intersection of it all. Helping friends figure out things, you know, because in my friend group, I’d be the more experienced Disabled person 99 percent of the time. So, a friend would come and be like “My knee has been giving me trouble,” and I’m like “Okay, well, you’re 23, if you haven’t had a big injury, your knee shouldn’t just be giving you trouble over nowhere. Let’s troubleshoot this, like have you got braces,” and things like that. Just the reciprocal joy of them finding relief and me knowing that I helped them get there and helped them figure out the next step on their path is great.

Alber Saborio

THEY/THEM

When I first think about it, the first thing is: relief. And maybe not necessarily in a sense of relief of pain, but also like the relief of dealing with ableism. I find Disabled Joy in relief from those things, when other people can take care of them for me, or when they’re not present. Like, the first thing is my heating pad - because I have really bad arthritis - which often really helps manage my pain. There are barriers in place like the fact that some (pain) medications are opioids, so they don’t want to give them to you, in case you’re a drug user. Even if I was a drug user, I should still be allowed to have pain medication.

Also, the little things like when I have like a day where I have more energy, and I get to do something nice for myself, like, I don’t know, buy myself flowers or go to the beach.

So yes, the first thing that I think of is my heating pad because it gives me so much physical relief, but also it’s just a nice feeling. I also use ice as a relief from pain and it is joyful, but it’s not as joyful as heat because Ireland’s really cold. I also find a lot of Disabled Joy in meeting other Disabled People and forming community with them and getting to, like, complain about our aches together.

Aine O Hara

THEY/THEM

I think for me, it’s a sense of belonging. That comfortable intimacy that you have with other Disabled People where you don’t necessarily have to go into details, being treated like a human; that kind of thing is often really magical. Those kinds of spaces are really exciting and give me so much joy. They can also be tiny things like you with just one pal at home. I think that care is also really tied into joy in my head. I was thinking about other Disabled People bringing me things when I’m struggling or finding a way to meet my access needs when I’m not able to advocate for myself or verbalise anything. Looking after each other and hanging out without trying to fix each other.

I really love things like makeup and clothes, and experimenting with those kinds of things gives me so much joy. Also, so much dancing. Over the past few years refiguring out what dancing is to me and not putting outside structures on myself. Yeah, I think that’s it - hanging out with other Disabled People. It just gives me so much joy that I can’t even describe.

Freddie Le Brun

THEY/THEM

Disabled Joy, for me, means finding the best in every day. Because I can’t guarantee what that day is gonna look like. I could have had a really good night’s sleep, I could have had a really bad night. So my joy could be actually getting out for the day. Or it could be just having enough energy to play with my rats. I have three little terrors. And one of them’s on medication, which is not easy. But just having that comfort of having them there.

My rats, art, I draw, I write, knit. I paint (trying to get my flat done at the moment), and also the time I spend with my friends and family. And sci-fi conventions!

Laura Beston

THEY/THEM

Disabled Joy has meant different things to me at different points in my life. I think ultimately it’s about being seen, being represented and feeling comfortable. I think as well there are layers. The beginning is feeling comfortable, like acceptance within society, which I think leads to everyone feeling comfortable. So there’s less judgement. That’s joyful.

I think for me, it’s when I can be completely myself around people. A lot of Disabled People have this experience of maybe having to alter themselves in different spaces in different environments.

For me, it’s seeing us move into this state, this phase, where we are having our own culture but it very much can become this really beautiful space when queer culture and Disabled culture come together. You know, there’s been some really nice times and spaces where that’s happened and that’s where I find joy.

Disabled Joy is everywhere, and there’s no one definition of it. It’s a very personal, vulnerable thing to talk about so I just want to take a second to thank all of my wonderful contributors for their willingness to discuss theirs.

Oftentimes, stories like these are written as a feel-good piece for non-Disabled people. They will centre on how Disabled People make them feel. This isn’t that; this is a celebration by and for Disabled People, particularly Disabled Queer People who are often further marginalised by inaccessibility. Loving yourself in an often unkind world that lacks inclusivity is truly the most joyous thing you can do; there’s a whole community ready to welcome you.

This article appears in 372

Go to Page View
This article appears in...
372
Go to Page View
FROM THE TEAM
Welcome, dear reader, to the very special Pride edition of GCN!
TEAM GCN
What are you most looking forward to about being able to celebrate Pride together this year?
FIGHTING BACK
NXF in conversation with Misha Tumasov
Give the Gift of Pride
As Pride gets ever closer, many of us are looking forward to reconnecting with friends and marching the streets once again surrounded by rainbow flags.
Preserving Our History
Over 34 years, the lives of LGBTQ+ people, their stories, successes and struggles have been captured in the pages of GCN magazine.
Trans Equality Together
A coalition working to create an Ireland where Trans and nonbinary people are equal, safe and valued will be officially launched this month.
THIS HOUSE IS A HOME
As he takes the reins of the much-beloved LGBTQ+ community space located in the heart of Dublin, Oisin O’Reilly shares with Ethan Moser his vision for the future of Outhouse.
REWIND<>RECORD
I still find it hard to locate my 'queerness' at times. I genuinely worry about it. Is it at the bottom of a pint in the gay bars or clubs I frequent? Or did I leave it in my house next to my keys?
The work to disregard historic convictions of gay and bisexual men.
This month, our beautiful green country celebrates every colour of the Pride rainbow. Pride has become a glorious country-wide annual occasion full of festivities, fun and jubilation.
FRIENDS LIKE THESE
In light of plans to open a new pub in The Liberties, Keev Boyle Darby caughtup with John Keelan, a beloved ally and bouncer on Dublin’s LGBTQ+ scene to chat about his addition to the city: All My Friends. Portrait by Hazel Coonagh
Non-binary Lesbians: Identity Based on Inclusion
Lesbianism has an intricate and mixed history, particularly when it comes to gender identity and presentation. Many modern views on lesbianism, however, appear to be attempting to erase this. Leighton Gray and Em O’Connell discuss that, whether done consciously or unconsciously as a means of defence, current views on the community are becoming far too simplistic and stagnant.
The Beat Goes On!
There are icons and then there’s Cher. Conor Behan got a tour behind the scenes of a new must-see stage musical based on the life of one of pop’s greatest stars.
CELEBRATING DISABLED JOY
Battling the myth that Disabled People are unhappy, Alannah Murray speaks to friends to find out what sparks joy and how they celebrate their community.
DISSOLVED GIRL : Learning to Live Without Compromise
In a quarantine hotel room in Hong Kong, Nat Mak finally decided they were void.
HIDDEN QUEERS
With Pride season upon us, Saoirse Schad spoke to Matt and Róisín about their experience of being ‘hidden’ during this most colourful and rainbow-filled time of the year.
EQUALS AT WORK
With over 40 years of support for LGBTQ+ rights in Ireland coming from the Trade Unions movement, Beatrice Fanucci looks back on a lesser known ally for our community.
Making an exhibition
In February 2022, a report in The Journal highlighted the awarding of a café and services tender to Aramark by The National Gallery of Ireland. Artist Brian Teeling explains why this struck a nerve across the country.
TACKLING HOMOPHOBIA
Despite many queer women representing Ireland on an international sporting level, the lack of openly queer men has raised questions about whether the male sporting sphere is inherently homophobic. Alice Linehan takes a closer look
GRAND DESIGNS
“Just two gay lads having a cup of tea and talking shit at the kitchen table.” That’s how PJ Kirby described to Peter Dunne the show he and Kevin Twomey have created. But while it may have come from humble beginnings, I’m Grand Mam has taken the podcast world by storm and shown that nothing brings us together better than laughter
NOT JUST RAINBOWS
In 1982, Declan Flynn was murdered by a gang of five homophobic men in Fairview park. The tragedy sparked outcry from the LGBTQ+ community, and is seen as a key moment in the development of the country’s queer rights movement, including the emergence of the Dublin Pride parade. 40 years on, as Alice Linehan describes, it is abundantly clear that Pride is as necessary as ever as Ireland is experiencing an alarming rise in homophobic violence.
Dating and Difference AGE
Dating based on demographic status is nothing new. It is nowhere more prevalent than the online dating world. Granted, for the most part, this world mostly stays away from problematic selection processes that may be deemed discriminatory (disability, economic status, etc), though this is an ongoing evolution. Race, for example, has only been removed from the Grindr search filters within the last few years. But almost all dating platforms will ask what age range you’re willing to date within; this, apparently, is more acceptable, describes Adrian Colwell.
Life After Life
Tír na mBeo - The Land of the Living is a new documentary film highlighting LGBTQ+ people in Ireland during lockdown. Its creator, Pradeep Mahadeshwar, shares the journey of making a window into queer lives during a troubled time
Absolutely no regrets
The monumental new photobook by the incredible Niamh Barry, No Queer Apologies, questions the ways in which queerness exists, permeates, and even reshapes the space around us. We are delighted to share its beauty.
MODERN DANCE
Chemsex, also referred to as the After Party scene, has inspired many a conversation amongst the queer community. Naturally, a scene involving drugs and sex will provoke certain perceptions to those who don’t partake, but there is more to it than an easy judgement would suggest. Brian Dillon spoke to the queer creatives looking at the scene head on in a potent new show.
IN RECENT YEARS ACROSS POP CULTURE, SPORTS, POLITICS AND THE NEWS MEDIA, TRANS PROPLE ARE MUCH MORE SEEN AND TALKED ABOUT THAN EVER BEFORE. THIS OF COURSE, DOESN'T COME WITHOUT DOWNSIDES
In recent years, the visibility and representation of Transgender people has increased. Across pop culture, sports, politics and the news media, Trans people are more seen and talked about than ever before. This of course, doesn’t come without its downsides, as Ezra Maloney discusses.
FREE FORM
It has been 20 years since Eddie McGuiness, his then-partner Paul O’Connor, and artivist and designer Will St Leger launched a brand new publishing venture: a glossy LGBTQ+ culture bible in B5 format called FREE! Magazine. Alan Kelly looks back at a magazine that proved so popular it expanded into the world of telly, extended its reach to the UK, and featured Westlife in their first-ever interview for a gay magazine.
WHOSE TALE TO TELL?
For years now, many queer readers have been focused on the ‘issue’ of presumably straight women writing books about, specifically, gay men...
RAINBOW READS
There is a thriving community of LGTBTQ+ creatives in Ireland making amazing, diverse and inclusive books for children. Just in time for Pride, here are a few suggestions to fill you bookshelves.
‘My Own Personal Sligo’ will be forever rainbow-strewn
Izzy Kamikaze shares a personal journey through the LGBTQ+ agony and ecstasy of a town that could be any town.
Crushing on Queers
It can be exciting when we meet people who buzz off something creative in the same way we do. It’s like a fast-track to some sort of immediate bond. Adrian Colwell shares how this feeling led to the creation of the new social event, Queer Crushes.
QUEER ASIAN PRIDE IRELAND
The founder of QAPI, Pradeep Mahadeshwar, shares why the organisation is necessary and how to get involved.
GOOD VIBES ONLY
From rocks carved into penises to steam-powered vibrators, Louise Blake gives just the tip on a brief history of sex toys that will leave you yearning to know more.
Directory
Directory
Directory
Sports & Fitness
Inspiring the LGBT+ community to be active
Exploring LGBTQI+Healthcare in Ireland
Dr John P Gilmore is Assistant Professor in Nursing at University College Dublin. He is also the recipient of the prestigious Fulbright HRB Health Impact Scholar award which will support him to travel to San Francisco next year to research models of community-led LGBTQI+ healthcare
Highlighting LGBTQ+ Creatives
Fans of queer comics may already have come across the work of Floatyspacecat. For those who haven’t, here’s the perfect introduction. Jacob L awrence, the artist behind it all, caught up with GCN and shared their journey
Highlighting LGBTQ+ Creatives
Daniel Mooney is the illustrator behind Mundomoo and this U=U artwork which he made in collaboration with Veda and the Poz Vibe podcast
Looking for back issues?
Browse the Archive >

Previous Article Next Article
372
CONTENTS
Page 40
PAGE VIEW