Identity — Fashion — Youth

character study

As part of GCN and Belong To’s ongoing collaboration to platform a whole new generation of LGBTQ+ voices, Shauna McNamara (Indecisive Cosplayer) shares how cosplay helped them explore their own identity.

IN modern society, identity can feel like a never-ending project, involving both an inner sense of self and an outward performance for the rest of society. Performing our identities is not a voluntary act, and for queer people, this performance can be complicated and confusing, especially in our formative years.

Queer folks are constantly bombarded with expectations, rules and boxes to fit ourselves into in order to be palatable to society. Growing up a theatre kid, a writer, and queer, with a notable lack of connection to the concept of gender, it’s no wonder that cosplay turned out to be the perfect tool with which to shape my identity.

The term ‘cosplay’ is a Japanese blend-word of the English terms costume and play, and was coined by Japanese reporter Nobuyuki Takahashi in 1984. It involves dressing up in costume as a fictional character you feel some connection with, whether it be via their character design, their backstory, or their mannerisms, and often, acting or roleplaying to create social media content, short films or even just a fun game between friends. Cosplay is the reason that when attending an Anime or Comic Convention, you are likely to bump into some of your fictional faves strolling around the con floor.

I joined the cosplay community around five years ago and began posting about my craft on social media, going as ‘Indecisive Cosplayer’, one year later. The hobby began as a form of escapism, leaving the monotony of lockdown behind to create and connect with my favourite characters. However, there are very few rules to cosplay, so it also became an ideal method of exploring my identity in a safe and fun environment.

Many cosplayers participate in the gender-swapping of characters, while others enjoy performing as a different gender from their own - crossplay. Cosplay can challenge and transgress the construct of gender. In embodying characters of vastly different styles, I have found the freedom to explore the fluidity of my identity, both through the making of the costume and the inhabiting of the character. This is where the cosplayer resembles a drag performer rather than the typical merch-wearing fan. Drag exposes the notions of a gender binary and the normativity of heterosexuality as constructs, creations of a society that values uniformity over individuality. Cosplay does the same. This can often be where we blur the relationship between the character and our own sense of self. Cosplayers are not simply trying to be the characters we dress as. We are also creating and playing with different identities, letting who we are blend together with who we are embodying. The cosplay community has always felt like a safe place to express and play with my queerness openly. Since part of the craft tends to involve making connections between my own identity and that of the character, it only makes sense that my performance would have a basis in my own queer identities.

I believe cosplay is one of the purest forms of queer creativity, and I have found myself part of an amazing, supportive community as a result. My cosplay journey began through social media, a fundamental aspect of contemporary cosplay culture. These imagined communities have become the backbone of my craft. It is through social media that I can keep in touch with fellow cosplayers, offer advice and display my work. Online spaces provide cosplayers with the tools and determination to create, to celebrate and to imagine themselves – and recreate themselves – in whichever image they see fit. Cosplay is the perfect mix of the inherent queerness of theatre with the inherent queerness of fashion. I have been so lucky to find myself part of this community, where I am encouraged to learn, create, and grow. Cosplay will always be the hobby that taught me to create, unrestrained by social expectations. It is adaptable, continuously developing and changing with the times. The future of the community looks bright, and I only hope that it will continue to be a space for queer folks to perform, create and rebel.

Belong To – LGBTQ+ Youth Ireland is the national organisation for LGBTQ+ young people in Ireland. Belong To offers weekly youth groups in Dublin for all LGBTQ+ young people, as well as advice, information and crisis counselling for LGBTQ+ youth, and supports LGBTQ+ youth groups across Ireland. Find information on all of Belong To’s work at www.belongto.org.