One of the people behind a host of support services and groups for young queer people around Donegal, including BreakOUT, Sinead Murray is a tireless supporter of LGBT+ youth.

I grew up in Letterkenny in Donegal and was one of the young people who did not leave. Donegal is extremely rural, growing up, there was no mention of gay people, so genuinely didn’t know what the word ‘gay’ meant. As got older, things became more difficult, like most young people, conformed and pretended and tried to suppress who was.

When I came out it was not easy at all but was very self assured in who was. If have a sense of pride other people can’t say anything because they’d look like the silly one. Not me.

There were absolutely no supports or services as a teenager. There wasn’t anyone out in school, there wasn’t anyone out in the community, so there was no visibility whatsoever of LGBT+ people. Back in the ‘80s and early ‘90s most LGBT+ people left, not to Dublin because Dublin wasn’t far enough, but to London and the likes, to try and live freely away from Ireland.

That lack of visibility ignited me to get involved in youth work. We started BreakOUT Youth Group in March 2009 with the understanding that young people were very much marginalised, and in some cases were facing physical violence on a daily basis within their schools as well as at home.

I support young people on a one to one capacity, so those fears of coming out; the fear of their parents, the fear of being thrown out of the house, if I’ve heard them once I’ve heard them 2000 times. It is still as real for them today as it was for me back in the ‘90s. We know that society and legislation has changed dramatically in Ireland, but that internal fear is still there.

I don’t want young people sitting in places like Arranmore Island, Dunloe, Inishowen or Buncrana feeling they’re the only person who is LGBT+ in their community. My core of work is to build young people up, give them the foundation and a wee bit of scaffolding to build their confidence, so you can see their spines getting straighter, their shoulders going back and finally their voice becoming their own.

The big difference for LGBT+ young people in urban and rural areas is visibility. You’re not going to see a gay couple in rural Donegal, that is a guarantee. You’re not going to see a trans person walking down the street. Also, the logistics of transport -we don’t have a train infrastructure, there’s not a regular bus service, we don’t have a luas. Here’s an example – a young person coming from Inishowen to our group in Letterkenny of a Saturday, if they got the only bus, they would be here at 8.30am to walk round the streets to go to a group that is on at 2pm for an hour, then they would have to leave that group early to get their bus back. Their parents could drive them but a lot are not out to their parents. It’s very difficult for them to access their weekly group and we know how important that peer support is to them.

For the future, we need to focus our energies on funding for services. Also, there’s a lack of awareness within all sectors, from front line A&E to mental health providers, around trans awareness and about referring young people to the appropriate services in a time bound fashion - not waiting until they are over 18 to pass them on to different services. If you are not providing young people with the appropriate services, or at least referring them on to the appropriate ones, that is going to impact on their mental health. Period.

It’s almost ten years since we started BreakOUT and it’s been the most wonderful journey. have the most immense sense of pride, honour and privilege in being a youth worker for these fantastic young people. They might feel they’ve learned something from me, but I’ve learned way more from them and really mean that with every beat of my heart.

It’s meant everything to watch young people grow to become proud to be themselves. BreakOUT had a reunion a couple of months ago and young people from all over the world sent video clips about how it’s impacted them. That’s what’s beautiful, young people who at a time in their lives were able to come to a place where there was another young person who was just like them. When a young person comes to BreakOUT, there might not be one other human being outside that knows they are LGBT+. One young person described the group as ‘sitting around the table and having tea, but it’s the sweetest cup of tea of the week’.

To those young people in isolated areas, and all young LGBT+ people - be proud of who you are, you are your best self when being yourself. Always remember the LGBT+ community will welcome you with open arms. It can be a scary road but things will always always get better. Never let anyone put you down for who you are. Shoulders back. Don’t look to the ground. Head up.

For more information, check out Donegal Youth Service on Facebook.