15 Years Of BeLonG To

Since the doors of BeLonG To opened in 2003, it had always been envisioned as an advocacy youth service. As founder Michael Barron pointed out, “it’s important to note that BeLonG To was never set up to be a youth group. In one way it was set up with the purpose of providing a safe space for LGBT young people, but it always had an activist and advocacy mandate as well. From the very beginning, the idea was that we’d support LGBT young people in where they’re at, but that we would also work with them in advocating for systemic change”.

So how did such a visionary and unusual model come into being? It started out in 1999, when Barron was working with Focus Ireland as a key worker. He recalled, “I was out as a gay member of staff. Because of that when LGBT young people would come in I’d become their key worker. One of the things that became apparent really quickly was that there was no service specifically to support them. And there was a disproportionate number of young people who were homeless and LGBT.”

This spurred Barron to action. He became part of a group called Out Youth - “a wonderful social grouping for young adults, and together we started working on the project that eventually became BeLonG To. don’t think there were really many LGBT role models back then, so in an Irish context at least, the prevailing backdrop was invisibility.”

From its inception, BeLonG To came up against barriers for their all-inclusive, diversified youth mandate. Firstly, there was resistance to having an LGBT youth organisation which allowed members under the age of 17 (the age of consent). As Barron noted, “We made the point that it was ridiculous - you wouldn’t open a youth service and only make it available to young adults. Another thing that we had to really fight for was the inclusion of trans young people. At the time being trans wasn’t on a lot of people’s radars. This was a few years before TENI was set up. I’ve always been proud of the fact that BeLonG To was in many ways the first really trans inclusive organisation. And trans young people came to us as soon as we set up.”

One theme has remained crucial to BeLonG To from the beginning: safer schools, where homophobic and transphobic bullying issues are addressed. As Moninne Griffith, current Director, pointed out, “I can say with absolute certainty that there are schools where this type of bullying is going on.”

Such identity-targeted bullying can have a profound effect on young people, leading to internalised negative feelings. This in turn takes its toll on young people’s mental health. Griffith continued, “some days I’d go into a group, and the majority of young people in that group could be self-harming. It’s that common. We have a mental health campaign launching this month, and we’re encouraging young people to seek help, no matter where they’re at on the mental health spectrum. We want to get the message out to young people that it’s OK to talk, don’t suffer in silence.”

In 2016, they published a study report carried out with Professor Agnes Higgins from Trinity College, called ‘LGBT Ireland’. What they found was that LGBT+ people were twice as likely to self-harm, and three times more likely to attempt suicide than their straight counterparts. Reflecting on these telling statistics, Griffith added, “we don’t want the younger generations experiencing the same traumas as my own generation, those traumas of coming out and the fear of rejection. We want safe schools with safe spaces for their LGBT+ young people.”

Detailing the impact proper supports can have, Griffith recalled “one young individual who came to BeLonG To. They were very shy, didn’t make much eye contact. Sometimes young people can be walking up and down outside for up to six months before they pluck up the courage to come in. It turned out that this particular young person had been having a horrific time in school with awful bullying. But with support they really blossomed. They became one of our peer leaders and group leaders, and they were trained up to do facilitation and have been involved in planning and developing workshops.

“This person is now one of our best advocates, representing us at national and international conferences and were also involved with the LGBTI+ Youth Strategy. It was just amazing, and such a privilege to be able to witness that. There’s a magic that happens in youth work, and the level of change which young people can effect with the right supports. It’s my wish that all young people, not just LGBT+ young people, could have access to a service like BeLonG To. It empowers them to really flourish and become part of the solution, and become agents of positive social change themselves.”

Griffith joined BeLonG To after serving as Director of Marriage Equality. “The team had been working so hard on the referendum in supporting young people both to be actively engaged in the innovation campaign and lobbying campaign. And also supporting the young people who really struggled - in the home setting some of them weren’t out, and conversations about their lives, among their families and friends, were taking place in front of them. It was a really stressful time for a lot of young people, and BeLonG To even had a plan in place for if the result was a ‘No’, in terms of what it would mean for young people’s anxieties, and mental health and well-being.

“A happy consequence of the Gender Recognition Act and the ‘Yes’ vote in the referendum was that the number of young people coming to BeLonG To more than doubled, and our young trans group in particular swelled, going from 40 young people to 70 taking part. It was a happy complaint to be struggling to meet the needs of so many young people and to maintain the high standards of youth work with those numbers.”

Griffith also spoke of how the LGBTI+ Youth Strategy of 2017, spearheaded by Minister Katherine Zappone, represents a new way forward for LGBTI+ young people in Ireland. “That report is a roadmap. It sets forth concrete action, which can be taken in the next three years, that will address the causes and the effects of homophobia and transphobia.”

Taking into account the huge leaps forward for the community in recent times, when asked Griffith to tell me about some of her highlights in working in BeLonG To, her initial response was not surprising - “There are so many! When was serving as Chair for the Gender Recognition Review, was really, really proud of one of our young people involved who just did an amazing job. They brought the voice of experience into the room, and held their own around some very senior civil servants, experts in their field, and brought it away from the abstract. Whenever any of our young people are speaking at public events, or at a conference, or hear them on the radio or see them on the television, it’s inspiring, and a real privilege.”

When asked Barron about his own highlights during his time in BeLonG To, his initial reaction was the same: “How to choose! Our work has been world-leading, in many ways, and it in turn led to the National Action Plan on bullying. It took the notion of bullying, and said that all bullying is not the same. We got the government to agree that there was identity based bullying, and that you couldn’t describe homophobia in the same way that you would describe racism, or bullying for other reasons. think it developed a shift in how LGBT young people were thought of, and it actually made a huge difference in schools. live in Donegal, and it’s quite amazing to see how schools are now, as to how they were when we started. They were really hostile places. But now you have rainbow walkways and rainbow doors, and there are people saying ‘what can we do to support this 12 year-old who is trans?’ So we have people really trying to figure out what’s the best thing to do, and that’s enormous progress.”

What BeLonG To means to me

I was getting really badly bullied in secondary school for being gay. went to an all boys school, and back then if you were in any way effeminate, it felt like they’d seek and destroy. know some people can, but couldn’t hide the fact was gay.

When you’re that age discovering that you’re gay, you truly think that you’re the only one in the world. There’s such a sense of isolation.

My family could tell was affected by this. My sister looked up gay youth groups and discovered BeLonG To. She rang up and was connected to Michael Barron and told him was struggling. Michael said ‘Come on in. We have Sunday meet ups’.

I went on my own, was 14. remember being terrified, this was literally the first time had ever met any other gay people. It was like finally meeting other aliens from your planet. It was amazing to connect with other people who were on your wavelength. For the first time ever felt wasn’t alone.

I met my best friend Anthony on that first day and we’re still best friends all these years later. He always said going to BeLonG To on a Sunday was like your recharge, and you’d be ready for the week ahead and be able to deal with the bullying. You were made to feel like you weren’t a freak for those couple of hours.

BeLonG To is a place to go if you’re in any way struggling with your sexuality. It opens loads of doors for you and it’s a great confidence builder as well. If you’re around people going through the same struggle and journey as you are it really makes it easier.

I wish could go back in time and come out earlier in school.meet kids these days who are 12 and 13 and they are in school, openly gay and completely being themselves. Once you own who you are, no one can touch you.

So my advice to young people who are having a hard time, is to find who you are and own it. You are untouchable then, that’s your weapon. If you are 100 per cent yourself, that’s your armour. Just know, no matter what you are going through now, it always gets better. You can count on the fact that other people are going through what you are too. The more you connect with people who are likeminded to you, the easier your journey will be.