Find Your Tribe

CHARLIE is 15 years-old and attends Dundalk Outcomers, a social and befriending support group for LGBT+ people.

I grew up in Dundalk, County Louth and I identify as transgender.

At first when you’re in the closet it feels scary thinking about telling people but when you eventually come out, it feels so much better. Once got the strength to come out to my friends, it was like a chain reaction. Through that, some of my friends started to get the strength to come out themselves.

When told one of my cousins that was trans, she was like ‘Come to this LGBT+ centre, it’s a really good place’. On that first day was really nervous going in, but as soon as sat down and everybody started talking to me, felt welcome.

Without Outcomers wouldn’t be as open about who am as am. Outcomers means the world to me, from the minute walked in, automatically felt safe and valid. Everyone made me feel accepted. Obviously, life is not all happiness, so if you’re struggling wth something you can always talk to one of the youth leaders or one of your friends in the group, but regardless, someone’s always there for you. It’s kind of like we keep each other going.

I would like to see more work done in schools in rural areas for LGBT+ teens. think schools need more support systems, they are accepting, but in general they don’t really talk about LGBT+ issues in class.

I don’t think anybody should be denied the right to come out, or be told to hide when they are ready to start being themselves openly. would also like to see more equality for trans and non-binary people as don’t think they are really recognised enough by straight cis gender people.

VAL is 19 and also attends Dundalk Outcomers

I grew up in Lubinstown, which is a very rural area, and I identify as non-binary.

I felt very isolated growing up, because, if anything, was technically the only young person in the area. Everyone else was pretty much two generations ahead of me. When was coming out, the reaction from other people had more to do with not understanding than not accepting.

In secondary school, there was no talk about issues like this whatsoever. Apart from slurs being thrown around, that was pretty much it. remember on the bus, they’d be saying all these mean names but at that time due to lack of information didn’t even understood what they meant.

When came out, my mother brought me to the school counsellor who then told me about Outcomers. It hit me like a train because never knew these places existed. When went that first time, was a nervous wreck. had so many thoughts going round in my head, didn’t know what to do, what to say. But then felt ‘oh my God, belong in this place much more than any other place I’ve ever been to’. So ever since that day I’ve been going religiously. It’s opened me up to a lot of different things, it made me realise that what grew up with is only a mere percentage of what there is out there.

It’s helped my confidence to the point actually want to do volunteering and want to be an activist for the LGBT+ movement, not only in this country but other countries. think education on the matter is needed not only for young people, and not only in rural areas, but for everyone. We should be inclusive, educate everyone, not just young people.

JAMES is 17 and attends the Gateway Youth Project in Athlone, County Meath

I grew up in Longford and I identify as gay.

I have a very supportive family but there aren’t many supports in my area. Longford used to have an LGBT+ youth club which basically started up and closed down in the space of a couple of months. The closest youth group to me is Gateway and that’s about 50 minutes drive away.

I was outed when was very young. was about 13. That became one of the most isolating experiences of my life, because didn’t know anyone else who was LGBT+.

Within the lives of children in rural areas, school is a huge element because there’s not as much chance for people to meet up outside of that, meaning school becomes the main social hub., so having more education on these issues would have had a big impact. remember in third class we had a lesson about defining all the different terms and my teacher couldn’t even define half of them. Lots of people didn’t even know what heterosexual was! But if the words that make up LGBT+ even get said more, if there’s more people talking about them, then it just becomes a lot less weird.

When came out, people were coming up to me and asking me questions and was like ‘I’m a 14 year-old kid, don’t know all the answers about gay people,’ but they really didn’t have any other outlet for those questions.

The youth group has had a very positive impact on my confidence and it’s allowed me to get to a point where I’m no longer second guessing myself. On my first day at the centre, was incredibly nervous but when arrived it was nice to be in an environment in which wasn’t the odd one out. They were actually preparing for Pride, so within my first week in the group ended up marching in Pride!

If there are other young people who are in a similar situation to how was - know that there are people out there who will care about you, even if it doesn’t feel like there are now.

NOAH is 14 years-old and attends the same youth group as James.

I grew up in Monksland, Athlone and I identify as transgender.

There are a few support systems round my area but growing up did feel isolated at the start. When went into secondary school found out that there were more people who identified as gay or lesbian or bisexual. felt like was accepted by the friends that did tell and that wasn’t the only one like me who was around, but in general there isn’t a large LGBT+ community where live.

The counsellor in school gives advice for anyone who is struggling, so she recommended the youth group to me. My rst time there was very nervous because hadn’t really come out to any friends at that point, but then it was ne, got to talk to a lot of people and it was nice hearing from others who had had the same experiences. started to feel at home. The group means a lot to me. know if it wasn’t there wouldn’t be able to cope as much as am with everything. The support is very important, it’s definitely given me more confidence.

Growing up in a bigger town would have been diff erent. I’d say there would be more services and maybe in general people would know more about LGBT+ things.

I’d like to see more visibility and representation, more support and understanding. Schools should do a lot more because a lot of young people don’t know what any of these type of terms even mean.

To any other young people out there who are feeling isolated or worried, would say to them, don’t beat yourself up, it’s OK. What you are going through is normal, and just know there are other people out there who feel the exact same as you.

For any young people feeling isolated know there is always support out there you can access. All across Ireland, there are a host of services ready to off er advice. Visit belongto.org where you’ll find all the information you need.