Shirley’s Burn Book

Oprah for President! Not.

Yeah, yeah! Oprah made a great speech at the Golden Globes. And there’s no denying she’s a very influential person – especially if you’re trying to shift copies of your crappy self-help book or peddle some conspiracy theory that vaccines give you autism. Housewives lap up what Oprah dishes out… and that’s why people think she’d be a great President.

Of course, she has all other qualifications to be US President: she’s a billionaire and she’s has a huge platform. I just don’t think that TV presenters running for high office is something Miriam O’Callaghan needs to hear about.

James Franco is a Great Pretender

This week it’s the turn of James Franco to deny he’s done terrible things to women. But wait, he’s (sorta) gay, isn’t he? Can we stop acting surprised that Hollywood people aren’t what they seem? It is literally their job to pretend to be someone they’re not. And sometimes they’re really convincing at pretending to be decent a human being. I know I am.

Bye by to those ‘Franco is secretly gay’ rumours.

Courtney Act flashed her tuck!

I’m not watching Celebrity Big Brother but I did hear about Courtney Act’s revealing entry into the house. In case you missed it (and there wasn’t much to miss), Courtney ‘caught’ in her dress on the steps to the house and the entire bottom of her dress came away… and bitch wasn’t wearing panties.

Scandalous! Most people think it was intentional and she was just looking for headlines. And unless you’re Janet Jackson, that kind of thing tends to work. Personally, I’m just not really into unsolicited dick pics.

RTÉ is Gender Fucked

RTÉ is giving itself a pat on the back for finally getting around to hiring two female anchors for its Six O’Clock News programme, Keelin Shanley and Catriona Perry. But if RTÉ think that’s gender representation sorted for them, they’ll shit themselves when they realise that the kids are a bit more complex than that. Facebook says that there are more than 70 different categories for gender used on the site. RTÉ News needs a bigger studio!

Marky Mark is a Greedy Bitch

Marky Mark Wahlberg became famous for grabbing his crotch in his Calvin Klein undies. Now he’s just known for money grabbing.

When Kevin Spacey was revealed as a sex-pest and fired from the film All the Money in the World, the crew re-shot scenes with his replacement Christopher Plummer. Co-star Michelle Williams really wanted the film to happen so she agreed to do the reshoots for next to nothing, but supporting actor Marky Mark got paid an extra $1.5 million because he cared less.

And that’s his biggest dick move since he flashed his prosthetic in Boogie Nights.