3 mins
dear dOroThY
Dear Dorothy,
I am a 24 year homosexual and I have had two lovers in my life, one for four months and the other for six. I didn't go very far in school. I'm unemployed, I live alone with no family contact and I am very lonely. Because I have no spare cash, I cannot buy the latest black 501's to shape my overweight buttocks. I have no confidence and fear I will never have a job or nice clothes. This means that I have nothing to offer and I think I will be without love for the rest of my life. Are the days of love for the soul gone? Are they replaced by love for clothes and rounds of drink in the most fashionable pubs? The only people who take interest in me are twice my age. Where can I find love?
Yours sincerely, Depressed.
Dear Depressed 24,
The pursuit of love, fulfilment and contentment is a worthy quest. So many people join you with different degrees of success. The charming prince never seems to most. So many people are seeking him but like the Scarlet Pimpernel he remains elusive. He also has the annoying habit of coming up to you when you are least thinking of him, you know, when you couldn't care less about love, lust and you've left your Safe Sex card at home.
I have a plan for you to catch him which is confidential to you and I. I’m patenting it next week so it's got to be hush hush. Firstly, make a mental change not to find him. Say to yourself love is not for you. Next get into something which will help you to make friends. You've a year left to be in the youth group, go to icebreakers, join 'Gay Community News' or start working with 'Out' magazine.
Next stay away from those fashionable bars for two nights. With the money saved put a classified advert in 'Hot Press' and 'In Dublin'.
The 'Hot Press' ad should be worded in a really cool way, like 'Gay (24) Black 501's fan, chunky butts, seeks progressive upwardly mobile fellow working class hunk, for companionship and pints by candlelight.
The 'In Dublin' advert should be sober in wording in case the presses jam which would delay publication.
Your lusting for Black 501's should be replaced by a tour of some of the good second hand shops for clothes in town. Pick out a suitable pair of light coloured 501's, go to your chemist, get cold water black clothes dye, follow instructions carefully. In two days, given good drying weather, you'll have your Black 501's. I should point out that clothes dye should not be used on moustaches.
When you're unemployed it seems like you'll never work. I know, I've been there. The thing to do is to aggressively explore FAS. Do not settle for leaflets. Make an appointment and see what courses you could take with FAS. The fact that you didn't go far in school is no reason to feel useless. You just need a start and if you learn some skills on a FAS course you're more likely to get that all important break.
Your loneliness will take you a while to shake off, especially since you are living alone. Have you considered not living on your own by sharing a house or bigger flat with people your own age. This move might lessen the impact of not having family contact. It also presents instant friends.
I'm sure as an individual you've lots to offer others in talents, friendship and love. It's time for affirmative action and a positive appreciation of yourself.
Dorothy
Dear Dorothy is in essence the GCN "Agony Aunt" Column. Letters from readers are very welcome and are treated as confidential. All letters are read and replied to by a trained member of Tel-A-Friend, the Gay Switchboard.
If your letter doesn't appear in this issue, don't worry as we’ve kept it over to the next issue.
Your correspondence, on any topic, should be sent to:
Dear Dorothy, Gay Community News, P.O. Box 931, Dublin 4.