Motivated by a desperate need for a judgement-free space to explore issues relating to bi-identity, the Bi+Ireland Network was born. Here some of the members talk to Ciara McGrattan about inding acceptance and promoting visibility.

AOIFE FITZGIBBON O’RIORDAN

“I founded Bi+Ireland in 2012. I had been facilitating workshops for members of the bi+ community, on bi issues. I started off doing them at in Pink Training [collegiate LGBT+ training event] and there was a demand for them at all different universities.

What I noticed was that there were a lot of people involved with LGBT societies who had never knowingly been in a room with other bi people. A lot of the time you’d see people come into the room, look around and say, ‘Oh! You!’ They’d have known each other and been involved LGBT+ societies together, but they weren’t out as bi to one another. It led me to be really aware that there was a problem where members of the LGBT+ community didn’t feel like they could be out in LGBT+ spaces.

In those workshops I’d have an hour to work with, and I’d have a list of stuff to get through. No matter how organised I was, once the ice was broken and people’s stories started coming out, it was like a dam breaking.

On the one hand, it was beautiful for them to be be able to talk about aspects of their lives for the first time among other people who got it. But then the hour would end and that would just be it. For some people that might be the only space they’d have in the whole year.

And that wasn’t enough. I wanted to do something, which included all people, wherever they are on the island, and I wanted to make sure it was inclusive and accessible to everyone.”

PAULA DENNAN

“Without Bi+Ireland I would have been lost, living in rural Ireland. I was slightly nervous before my first meeting because, let’s just say, I had a complicated relationship with my own sexuality. I was wary about putting my foot in it or not being ‘bisexual enough’, but it turns out the group’s not like that at all.

I was actually out as gay before joining the group, but in retrospect I was always bisexual. Unfortunately, bi erasure is an issue. I think it feeds into people not really knowing bisexuality exists, into that notion of you have to be either gay or straight.

Bisexual people or non mono-sexual people who identify as pan or variations on queer make up a significant portion of the LGBT+ community, but not many people know that.

It is going to take the queer community speaking up to make the difference. Not assuming everyone in a queer space is gay would be a start. People’s sexuality isn’t dependent on the gender of the person they’re dating. We’re all members of the LGBT+ community and it’s just about remembering that there are more than gays or lesbian people within our community.”

JESSICA CONNOR

“Before getting involved with Bi+Ireland I had been attending Dublin Pride for a number of years, appearing as an ally because I was in a straight-appearing relationship. I struggled with whether I really fitted in, so it was really incredible when I marched in Pride for the first time with the bi+ community.

I felt acceptance. It wasn’t that I’d been rejected by the LGBT+ community before; it’s just that I was invisible. I think that within the bi community it can be very hard to know where you belong, so finding other people like you who feel the same and who reassure you’re not crazy and you’re not alone – that was very fulfilling.

Your sexuality is fluid and your journey to it and your own understanding of yourself changes as you grow up. I certainly didn’t find the term ‘bisexual’ until my early 20s. In my teenage years I didn’t have the words and I felt very lost. That’s why I’m passionate about being visible now, even if I feel a little awkward. When I was asked to do this interview, I was like do I want to be in a magazine, do I want to be seen? But the whole point is to be seen, so other people can be seen.”

SHARON NOLAN

“Back when I was in college, I helped out with the LGBT+ society and it was one of the first times an openly bisexual person was the head of the society. It really opened my eyes to the fact that it wasn’t just my experience that bi people didn’t seem to be as welcome under the LGBT umbrella as I had first assumed.

At Pink Training a few years ago there was a bisexuality talk and it was a really raw experience. It really showed me the importance of having those spaces, not only to get out those frustrations but also to help build a community. So there was always a hunger to see a space like that exist. Eventually I thought, maybe I could help, and that’s how I go involved with Bi+Ireland.

There’s an inherent biphobia in society where you’re seen as immediately untrustworthy or deviant or attention seeking, just for being attracted to more than one gender.

It’s a weird balance; you want to move away from those stereotypes about being bi, but you also don’t want to shame anyone for being sexual. Of course there’s the whole ‘oh, bisexuals, they just want to be in a relationship with everyone,’ and there’s such a balance of challenging that without throwing polyamorous bisexual people under the bus. So it’s quite a tightrope to walk sometimes.

At Bi+ Ireland we’re trying to encourage an understanding that one person’s experience isn’t everyone’s experience and people are allowed to love more than one gender in whatever way they want to do.”

To find out more about the Bi+Ireland Network, contact biirelandnetwork@gmail.com or visit the Bi + Ireland Facebook page