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Shirley’s Burn Book

Anthea Turner is getting married

The former Blue Peter presenter was a big deal in the 1990’s (weren’t we all?) but hasn’t made much noise since her last wedding caused a bit of a stir.

Back then, Anthea and her fiancé sold the rights to their wedding to OK! Magazine. They claim they were stitched up by the magazine, which schemed with Cadbury’s to turn it into a promotion. #ad

Anthea was left with a nasty taste in her mouth when the Cadbury’s Snowflake chocolate bar was launched using those wedding photos. Neither brand nor husband lasted long. #snowflakes

I don’t really care who Anthea is marrying, but I can’t wait to see what chocolate bar she endorses this time!

Windsor Motors is a car crash

It’s been a bad few months for the British Royal family. This Brexit nonsense has revealed that having the Queen as a Head of State is not only pointless, it’s dangerous for democracy. #ProrogationMeHole

And then Prince Harry’s judgement was called into question – not for choosing to spend his holiday at Elton John’s but for using a private jet to get there. Tut, tut, Harry… aren’t you the one who’s always preaching about climate change?!

Harry has been selling us on the idea that he is the ‘woke’ Royal but maybe he’s sold us an old banger there! After all, with a full name like Harry Windsor, he does sound like a used car salesman.

Scientists have concluded that there is no gay gene. Which means you can stop telling me that you think we’re related! XOXOXO

Self-loathing closets take longer to open

Nothing surprises me much anymore. I only seem to take notice when something couldn’t surprise me any LESS. Take for instance the story of McCrae Game. (yes, that’s his real name). He’s the founder of Hope for Wholeness (yes, that’s a real name again), which is one of the most prominent gay conversion therapy organisations in the US.

The fact that a gay conversion therapy organisation can be ‘prominent’ at all says more about the US than it does about this guy, but he’s still an idiot.

And it turns out that his interest in ‘helping’ gay men wasn’t entirely professional or even spiritual. It was personal and deep rooted. Very deep rooted, because 20 years after starting his gay conversion organisation, McCrae Game has come out as gay himself. Like. We. Didn’t. Already. Know.

As we’ve said to these gay conversion people for years: It’s going to take a bigger shock than that, pet!

Aw, it looks like Nadine Coyle is going solo again

The ex-Girls Aloud singer from Norn Ireland with the iconic pronunciation of the words ‘fl our’ and ‘hours’ has revealed that she has split from her long term American boyf. #LoveGotCold

The pair met in 2008, got engaged in 2010, split briefl y in 2011 before getting back together again, until recently.

Of course, it is Nadine Coyle, who famously ‘forgot’ her age when auditioning for Irish Pop Stars, so those dates mightn’t be accurate.

This article appears in the 358 Issue of GCN

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This article appears in the 358 Issue of GCN