Shirley’s Burn Book

Australia might have given us Kylie, Sia and the Hemsworth brothers, but it’s giving me a big pain in my Oz lately – and I’m not talking about their awful Eurovision entries. The Aussie government has decided to put marriage equality to a plebiscite, which is essentially a popularity vote. But what seems even more offensive and backward is that the vote is taking place by post. Using the postal system in the 21st century? Sounds like old-fashioned Mail Chauvinism to me.

Blonde Cher has officially lost the plot

On Game of Thrones, Daenerys Targaryen has only gone and fed ridey newcomer Dickon Tarly (played by Tom Hopper) to her dragons before he’s even had the chance to do anything. And if you’ve seen Hopper before, you’ll know that all I really wanted him to do is take his shirt off. Khaleesi might be winning big battles but she’s clearly losing the WHOAR!

Prince George

has all the sass

Poor Jim Allister of the DUP has got a bee in his bowler hat cuz someone said that little Prince George, with his sassy behaviour and disdain for contact sports, was becoming a bit of a gay icon. You’d think that Jim, with his flags and drums and sashes, would know a bit about iconography. Instead Jim chooses to think that being a gay icon just means gay people want to have sex with you. That’s not just wrong on so many levels. It also makes things a bit awkward for the Babadook.

Peter André

is delusional

Peter André has revealed to someone who cared enough to listen that his son has a beautiful voice. André thinks that Junior, who is also Katie Price’s son, has a voice good enough to have a music career ‘just like his dad’s’. In case you’ve forgotten, André’s career consisted of releasing the song ‘Mysterious Girl’ twice, ten years apart. Dream bigger, Junior!

Conor McGregor

doesn’t even do real sport

I’ve had enough of Conor McGregor and his alpha-male cage fighter antics. So much of what he says comes off as racist or sexist.

Take a seat, McGregor! And I’m not even sure that Ultimate Cage Fighter (UFC) nonsense is even a real sport. If I wanted to see over-confident, muscle Marys with bad tattoos biting and scratching each other while oiled up in their Speedos, I’d go to one of those Circuit Parties.